Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Day #5: Bed-rest

Poor mom didn't make it to her last flight last night, which forced her to stay overnight in Denver.  Today she is on stand-by for a flight from Denver to Rapid City and I truly hope she is able to get on that one!  She hasn't flown in nearly 10 years and this is not exactly the experience an almost-newbie-flyer-who-is-already-frightened needs. 

Miles asked me to make a list of things I wanted for him to do before my mom arrived.  There's certain things that should always be done - whether you're single, married or having guests.  After having written my list and him beginning to tackle the different duties, I realized some of it is why she's even coming in the first place.  I had to remind myself that he didn't need to make the house look pristine because mom was coming to dust, vacuum, tidy, cook and be with me.  On realizing this I began to cross off different things.  I think Miles thought I might be trying to say he wouldn't do it, he wouldn't get it done on time or couldn't do it "my" way... but it just seemed silly to take away any free or down time from him when that is why she's coming anyway!

My husband is also very proud of our new family car :)  I'm not allotted any pride towards it since I don't have a paying job and it's not my credit that was able to afford it, but don't think that I don't absolutely love it!  (I'll always have a soft spot for my Mini Cooper though!)  Since we live up north in a rugged winter climate, he became anxious about all the work he'd done late summer on the car to make sure it shined, had no swirls and was just gorgeous.  Apparently Meguiar's makes a product that allows for spray-and-wipe clean during the winter when you can't spray, soap and rinse your car.  This excited him to no end because now when we pick up our families at the airport this winter, the car will STILL be clean.

He cleaned the car, shined the tires and lo' and behold our neighbor trots over to ask how my pregnancy is going.  As usual, she begins to talk and then tell me the most vicious, horrendous stories and experiences of her and "close friends".  When I attempt to make a positive note on something, she'd deject it with the resource that she has 3 children (3, 2, and 4-months) and one of them born at the Very Terrible and Life Threatening hospital I'm doomed to deliver my baby.

Upon finding out I'm currently on bed-rest and Nifedipine for my contractions, she went on to tell me how they asked her at this same hospital if she wanted the medications to stop contractions.  She, apparently, refused them under the whim that she just wanted the darn baby out already (at 33/34 weeks).  While I personally completely disagree with this choice, I saw her waiting for some sort of reaction or change of heart on my own situation, I let her know our baby is not healthy and I wanted the best for the baby's health.  She then proceeds to say, "Well I  told them, 'Look, I don't care.  I want him out now.  You got a NICU here.  He'll be fine.'"  Apparently she then left the hospital, having never been treated for her pre-labor contractions and came home to talk a half of a mile walk to begin the process of labor because, again, she wanted the baby out.

My husband and I are sitting in the garage amazed.  Amazed that she would put her own desires above her child's health.  I've not at all walked through this pregnancy saying it felt like rainbows and butterflies, but I think I can tolerate 9 months of uncomfortability, sometimes pain, and definitely inconveniences for the health and well-being of our child.  It scares me that she has 3 kids, and one of them is an infant.

I'm getting better at pre-occupying myself during the day while Miles is at work, and after he checks in on me during lunch.  It's at night that I have to grasp myself because I get crabby.  I get so frustrated by the end of the day because there's so much I had wanted to do... there's so much I want to be done... and it's all stuff that I want to do. 

I knew I was being unreasonably crabby, and I decided to open up the Bible to I Thessalonians 5.  God, I believe, was happy to see me reaching out to His manual when I knew I needed to be more like Jesus because what I read couldn't have hit home more!
Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out. - I Thessalonians 5:13-15 (The Message)

As soon as I read that, it was unbelievably comforting.  God knew that I was frustrated.  He knew that I had allowed stupid things performed by my husband to get on my nerves, and he knew that towards night time I preferred to snap at him rather than just let it go.  Maybe not immediately life changing, but definitely changed me in that moment and thus our night was not destined to darkness and negativity.

I believe God blessed me with a full nights sleep for that as well :)  Bella decided she was going to lay still while I attempted sleep.  I'll never be swayed to believe that when you, in true humility and repentance, reach out to God (be it the Bible, a prayer, a song, a moment...) that He will not bless you in some way.


Our Little Bonbon said...

That's pretty horrific of your neighbor. Many women say/do such things in hopes of validating their experiences without thinking of how they might be coming across. I can't imagine asking for a baby to be born so prematurely.

Anyway, I hope your mom gets there safe and sound! Sending many prayers your way~

Brittany said...

I must agree... up until that point I thought she was a well-meaning person. Then she speaks and says how she'd rather have her baby in NICU for 1-2 months than have him in utero for another few weeks. *shakes head*

She did get here safely! Not on the day anticipated, but... at least safely!