Monday, November 23, 2009

Last Cleaning

As much as I hate sleeping in, as much as I hate not doing something productive, I allowed this past weekend to be quite a lazy one.  Thankfully we did complete the nursery (YAY!), now all that is left is putting things away in there and cleaning up.  I figured we will soon not having weekends to sleep in on, and I know Miles has been quite stressed with work and thanks to my ritualistic get-up-to-pee-every-30-minutes middle of the night routine, he cannot sleep well either.  A good sleep in did us both well, I think... or hope. 

We managed to get 95% of our grocery shopping done, and yes, despite the very probable (or not probable) chances of Bella arriving on or before Thanksgiving, we have a turkey and all the sides we want with it.  Just in case.  Well, even if I am home I don't know why I couldn't have a turkey in the oven... even if it's a day or so after the holiday! 

Tuesday is my appointment with my actual doctor (as opposed to the CPN).  I'm admittedly a bit nervous.  The last time he and I conversed was at the hospital when I was in pre-term labor and I believe that was about a month ago.  (Wow, time flies...)  In a month, I could have dilated to something I would consider scary.  With a good handful of physical changes that have occurred between then and now, I think I have a right to be slightly... scared.  Scared of what?  Having them whisk me to L&D straight after my check-up tomorrow, lol.  I really doubt that'll happen, but I have this unsettling, unreasonable and unfounded fear. 

Despite knowing I'm just anxious and scared (hey, it's my first time being pregnant), I'm still going to clean the house today as if it's the last time I get to clean it until Bella arrives.  I know my mom and Miles' mom will help me take care of the house during December, but no one takes care of your home like you do.  Okay, I know I may have some slight OCD or control issues when it comes to cleaning but still... this is one thing I can do before Bella is here.  After that, I pretty much expect to be loopy (on or off meds) for a bit after.

Perhaps part of my anxiety comes from having (stupidly) read all the forum and blog entries on how badly an internal exam hurts in the third trimester.  I had one at the E.R., but the pain I felt is different than what anyone else describes.  My mom doesn't remember having had that kind of pain during an exam, that it was just uncomfortable.  The nurse had even said it shouldn't hurt, just be uncomfortable.  Well, let me tell you, it HURT... and it didn't hurt where everyone else said it would so I think, I hope, she did something "wrong".  Regardless, I'm going to be very verbal with my doctor tomorrow and let him know that I'm scared to death of him. LOL.

I wish there was more to say, but all that is swimming in my head is anxiety!


Michelle said...

Just came across your blog and wanted to send good labor vibes on your upcoming birth - how exciting for you!

Alison @ Hospitality Haven said...

I'm sorry you're so worried about tomorrow. :( I've never been pregnant, so I can't give you any comforting words in that department, but I will be sending some prayers your way! And I agree with you - no one cleans your house quite the way you do! I would do the same thing. :)