Friday, October 23, 2009

Completely, Utterly, and Totally... Incapable

Much to my dismay, the bed-rest I had wished for is not mine.  Dr. Buehner's nurse just gave me a call back after I left her a message an hour ago.  I wanted to confirm whether or not I was able to do certain things, as well as run past somebody the different side effects from the Nifedipine that I'm taking for the contractions.

  • I can go to church. 

  • I can't take baths, due to being dilated and possibly causing infection.  Baths should be limited to days where I'm extra achy or crampy due to, well, bed-rest.

  • I can get up to make a sandwich.

  • I can get up and stretch my legs to prevent achiness or restlessness.

  • I can take over-the-counter Zantac for the heartburn caused by Nifedipine and bed-rest.

  • I can expect an elevated heart-rate for at most an hour after taking Nifedipine.

  • I can sit upright for periods of time.  It is preferred I'm reclining to some degree, though sitting is okay.

  • I cannot go grocery shopping (though I figured).

Due to being dilated, even if it is only 2 cm, it is preferred that I stay on the couch and read, watch t.v., play video games, do a hobby, etc. 

Honestly, I'd hoped that I'd at least be able to do a bit more.  I do like the fact that I can make myself lunch or get a snack.  I do wish though I'd be able to walk around the house real fast with a duster.  Or pick up some trash, lol.  I don't know...

Like I said to Miles before he left after coming home for lunch, I just wish I could do something productive.  I know people think it's wonderful to sit at a computer all day (and not work), or to do a hobby all day, or watch t.v.  The thing is, I've always depended on doing something productive.  If I at least did one responsible thing all day, I could at least go to bed and feel somewhat satisifed.  Like, doing the dishes.  Now, I can't even do the dishes.  >.<

Miles' response, of course, was that I am doing something productive.  You know, like making a baby and trying to keep her inside until she should come out.  Which, he's right, and I need to dwell on that... but when I have instinct to just get up and throw out that envelope, or rinse my plate off... I find myself very frustrated that I have to sit back down and just wait until he's home or does it.  Or until one of our mother's is here to do it.  It's just... weird being incapable.

Don't take this all the wrong way though.  I want Bella to stay in the womb until it's a much healthier time, and I care deeply for her health and want her to be as healthy as can be.  As a person though, I'm done being pregnant.  It's been 8 months of sacrificing my body for her to grow in... and it'll be very worth it, I know this... but it doesn't change the fact that 8 months of not having your body is really actually quite frustrating.


Our Little Bonbon said...

Your journal is very pretty! I'm sorry to hear that your more limited than you were hoping to be. Hopefully, the time will go by quickly. {{hugs and prayers}}

Brittany said...

Thank you :)
A few weeks ago, thinking that her birth could be only 6 weeks away seemed almost too quick. When you think of 6 weeks sitting idlly... you think it's eternity.