Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sights on God

Because God has made us for Himself, our hearts are restless until they rest in Him.
Augustine of Hippo
 My husband has been having a hard time at work.  Everybody, I know, has hard times at work and at least once in their lifetime they will run across a boss who just downright doesn't care about how they make any of their employees feel.  Unfortunately this is my husband's first time ever experiencing an authority figure (as in boss) who feels compelled to just be as mean as they can be.  We're talking this man literally yells at people.  On a daily basis he berates the employees (particularly my husband and one other person) to the point that they are literally fearful of going to work.  They're afraid to leave the building at all during the day.  They're afraid of making mistakes.  We're not talking about making a handful of mistakes.  If just one mistake is made, you can pretty much expect that this man is going to make the heavens rain down cement on your head. 

My husband is also a good man; inherently wants to be good and serve.  This is where we differ, because I have a big mouth and a more aggressive personality.  He, on the other hand, will be very compliant and attempt to please the opposing person to the best of his abilities.  My husband absolutely hates confrontation, and really detests any sort of fighting.  If I were in his shoes, I admit I'd probably lose my job or have walked out.  Immaturely, I'd much rather cause a huge blow-out with that guy and lose my job than put up with the incessant and needless beatings he dishes out daily.  (Despite others having already talked to him about the negative and harmful effects his way of doing things has on everyone). 

At this point my husband is about to lose his mind.  I sat with him in his office until 9:30 PM last night so he could get as much done as he could.  He was given an impossible deadline, and while knowing he can never meet that deadline, he wants to have as much done as possible so that maybe-kinda-possibly-hopefully Mr Big Bad Wolf will not bark down his throat and tell him he is a failure.  This morning, my husband had a major case of being down in the dumps.  The deadline is the end of today, and of course, it's 99% improbable that he'll be able to meet it.  He's already given his boss a heads-up on this, but in the long run that doesn't even matter.  In the end my husband will, inevitably, be scorned for this. 

As his wife I absolutely hate watching this happen to him.  There's absolutely nothing I can do, and there's not much I can do to cheer my husband up.  He's happy to be home when he's allowed to be, and tries to spend time with me... but there's many days where his mind is completely preoccupied with the worry of what's going on at work. 

I feel that as his wife it is my responsibility to constantly moderate our spiritual lives until my husband is able to focus on more than what is bare-essentials-important.  Somehow I have to remind him (daily? hourly? frequently?) that God is in complete control over all of our situations.  The Book of Job is always reassuring in the matter that He will never place us in situations He has not created us to be able to handle.  If you think of everything that Job went through, and you think about if that had happened to you... I think most of us agree that we would most likely go insane.  Absolutely berserk.  Nutso.  For some reason though, Job didn't.  He kept his sights on God, even despite good friends disagreeing with his perspective. 

While I feel that the entire focus of the Book of Job is not on just one thing, I do think that God shows us that when we focus on Him (especially in muddy situations), that we will get through it a lot less worse for wear than if we attempted to deal with it ourselves.  God is perfect, and He understands the perfect way to deal with any and every situation.  (Honestly, if it weren't for Him, I wouldn't have known how to handle, accept and be proactive about the diagnosis of our daughter having Down syndrome). 

That is now a current goal that I have to refresh in my mind.  My duty as my husband's partner is to help him in the areas he cannot focus on, just as he helps me when I cannot focus on my important areas.


Monica Crumley said...

Thank you for stopping by our blog and commenting. Your blog is beautiful. Many congratulations on your baby Bella soon to be born. I love her name. I would totally name another girl Bella! :-) I'll be here for you anytime if you need someone to chat with or have questions. I look forward to seeing photos and God Bless You for your "yes" to giving birth to your child with Ds. She's one of the lucky 10%!

Brittany said...

Thank you so much! It will surely be an awfully big adventure! And, as anyone who's nearly 38 weeks pregnant... I'm SO READY FOR THAT TO BEGIN!

My husband and I are still stunned at the gross number of people who do abort their little ones with Ds. God bless you and yours :)